Trust Is Built by Showing Up

Trust Is Built by Showing Up

Leadership insights powered by the wisdom of Poto Davies and Sheena Penwarden

Poto Davies and Sheena Penwarden shared their perspectives on what trusted leadership looks like through a Te Ao Māori lens. While the discussion centred on engaging with Māori, the lessons extended far beyond cultural capability, offering practical insights for anyone seeking to build stronger relationships and lead with greater authenticity.

Te Ao Māori is fundamentally values-based leadership,  leading with humility, purpose and genuine human connection. Throughout the discussion, it became clear that this perspective provides a powerful framework for understanding what trusted leadership looks like in practice. It also highlighted how easily trust can be undermined when relationships become transactional, intentions are unclear, or people stop showing up.

1. Relationships are an outcome of consistency, not a networking exercise.
2. Authenticity is more valuable than expertise.
3. Curiosity builds bridges faster than confidence.
4. Respect does not require agreement.
5. Leadership isn’t about getting it right the first time it’s about continuing to show up.

Relationships are the work, not the pathway to work.

• Relationships should never be treated as a transaction.
• Too often people engage with iwi, hapū or mana whenua only when they need something. That creates a pattern where Māori communities feel they are simply another stakeholder to be consulted before people disappear again.
• If you are starting the relationship because you need something, be honest about that but also work to maintain the relationship on going after you achieve what you need.

Sadly, too often people only come to us when they want something. As soon as they get what they want, they disappear.

• Leadership requires seeing relationships as an ongoing commitment.
• Don’t build relationships because you need approval.
• Build relationships because you genuinely value people.
• Keep showing up after the project has finished.
• Trust is built through consistency over time.

Authenticity (or the absence of it) is recognised immediately.

• People can tell very quickly why you’ve come.
• Intentions matter.
• If your motivation is genuine…
• people generally respond generously.

If your motivation is self-serving… people usually recognise it very quickly.

• Authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It is described as:
  • Being honest
  • being upfront
  • saying what you need
  • acknowledging what you don’t know.
  • following through.

Don’t wait until you know everything.

One of the biggest barriers people raised was fear.

• Fear of:
  • getting tikanga wrong
  • saying the wrong thing
  • offending someone
  • not knowing enough.

People do not expect you to know everything.

• They do expect:
  • respect
  • curiosity
  • humility
  • willingness to learn.

A mistake isn’t the problem. Walking away because you’re afraid of making one is.

Curiosity matters more than expertise.

You are encouraged to simply ask. Questions are seen as a strength not a weakness.

• Examples include:
  • “Can you show me?”
  • “Can you help me understand?”
  • “What should I know?”

The formula is simple and effective:

1. Ask.
2. Listen.
3. Learn.
4. Then ask again.

Listening is often more important than speaking.

Sometimes maintaining a relationship isn’t about talking. It’s about listening.

Rather than trying to contribute immediately,

• leaders should seek to understand:
  • different perspectives
  • different histories
  • different priorities.

Listening creates permission for better conversations later.

Respect comes before agreement.

Another important distinction: The goal isn’t necessarily agreement.

• The goal is mutual respect. Disagreement is normal.

Strong relationships can comfortably hold different views provided people remain respectful and continue engaging.

Common ground is the starting point.

Rather than beginning with positions, projects or negotiations, the discussion encouraged starting with shared purpose.

• For Māori, that often comes back to:
  • whenua
  • wai
  • taiao

Instead of asking: What do you want? The better leadership question becomes:

• What are we both trying to protect or achieve?

Shared purpose reduces conflict.

Values are remarkably consistent.

The values don’t really change. Commercial priorities change. Projects change. Funding changes.

• But the underlying priorities remain remarkably stable:
  • care for whenua.
  • care for people.
  • long-term stewardship

Understanding these values makes conversations much easier.

Don’t arrive trying to “fix” Māori.

One of the strongest cautions in the discussion was against approaching engagement as though Māori communities need fixing. That mindset is quickly recognised.

• Instead, approach conversations with curiosity:
  • What already exists?
  • What strengths are here?
  • How can we contribute?

The difference is subtle but significant.

Persistence matters

Practical advice was simple:

• Keep showing up.
• Not every meeting will produce agreement.
• Not every conversation will lead to action.
• But consistency builds credibility.
• People notice who returns.

Younger generations bring opportunities.

There is optimism about younger leaders. Both Māori and non-Māori participants were described as carrying less historical baggage than previous generations.

• They bring:
  • openness
  • curiosity
  • willingness to learn.
  • fewer preconceived barriers.

Rather than ignoring history, younger leaders were encouraged to acknowledge it without allowing it to define every interaction.

Leadership is about intention, not perfection.

Good leadership is less about having the perfect cultural knowledge and more about the quality of your intentions.

• If you consistently show:
  • respect
  • humility
  • authenticity
  • curiosity
  • follow-through

then relationships become easier over time. Knowledge can always grow. Trust grows because of behaviour.